Tag Archives: rants


I’ve always had a strained relationship with beards, and facial hair in general. I don’t grow much facial hair, barely being able to muster a mustache, but with no hope of growing a beard beyond a pathetic goatee. I can’t even grow sideburns of any substance. Sometimes this makes me sad, even to the point of being a little insecure about my machismo. I endeavored to  grow a mustache during Movember, but the resulting stache was rather weak.

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The Amazon Conundrum

I am going to take a departure from my usual cycling complaints and hiking wishfulness to address a topic that seems rather important of late: Amazon. Being that I spend my days holding down a desk at a large independent bookstore, some might find it odd that I am quite a fan of shopping at this online behemoth. Sadly, most brick and mortar stores suck and if I have to shop at a store that sucks, then shopping online is usually less painful.

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Friday, I went to the mall with the rest of the Portmandia clan. Normally, I do my best to stay away from shopping malls. Mrs. Portmandia has issues with crowd anxiety. I have a tendency to get irrationally angry with clerks and their pushy scripts. The little man just gets generally overstimulated by all of the noise and lights. The whole goulash makes shopping more of an expedition into dark territory than a simple chore.

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