Having Resolved

I apologize for the silence of late. Between the holidays and winter, I haven’t been doing much worth talking about. That of course is the crux of my problems. Each day I seem to be moving closer to an existential crisis of the midlife variety. I probably won’t be buying a Porsche or getting a trophy wife, but the issue is still that I need to find some kind of satisfaction.

In many respects, my life is the model of success by the standards of Little Bay Root. I have a lovely wife and a vigorous boy. I work at a landmark institution. I ride a fixed gear track bike and carry an iPhone. I appreciate a craft beer and listen to quirky music. All the milestones of a happy crypto-hipster life checked off neatly on the list. Only one thing is missing and lately it has been dragging me down: I have no social life.

I have a few friends, people that I have known for over a decade, yet they are all busy having babies and living in the burbs. We used to get together of dorky nights of board games and such, but kids put a crimp on that. Of course, there is the double whammy that Portmandia Jr. is a wee toddler and so I can rarely do anything with my wife without the boy tagging along. Altogether a perfect storm for the annihilation of my social life.

So now I need to start anew. Sadly, the only thing that I do is work, go home and occasionally run chores. This doesn’t make it easy to meet new people. I’m not really the type to chat up grocery store clerks or librarians, so that leaves most of my regular human contact fairly useless for the cultivation of new relationships.

I’ve been thinking about developing some crafty hobbies. I have a hankering to learn how to knit. Mrs. Portmandia thinks that I should look for a knitting group, but I’m a nervous nellie about these things. With my luck, I’d join a group hoping to meet a gaggle of cute hipster girls with glasses only to find myself a circle of crones that like to watch Fox news and complain about big government. I’ve also though about finding some more hiking buddies, but so far the only hiking clubs that I’ve been able to find are for retirees. Then again, I haven’t really looked that hard. I’m a foot dragger when it comes to social or trying new things.

That’s my resolution for the new year. I’m going to try and be more social and meet some new people. I can’t guarantee that I’ll make any new friends as I’m a rather fickle curmudgeon, but it’s worth a try. If I’m lucky, I might be surprised.

5 thoughts on “Having Resolved”

  1. I’m going through a similar phase minus the having a kid part. I have few people that I’d really consider friends here (I can count them on one hand) and my tastes are such that socializing with random people doesn’t seem to gain me much traction. Gaming has always been the social hub of my life, and that scene has been dead here for close to a decade. My other interests don’t contribute much either; the bodybuilding scene here is next to nil and most of the people in politics here are twice my age. I tend to just borrow my fiances friends, but they are younger and have few if any interests in common with me (plus any new female friends almost always mean I have to contend with jealousy from the fiance). So yeah, I’ve been dwelling on a very similar train of thought. It’s hard to think of a solution, beyond trying to be patient and continuing to try and reach out to people. If you come up with an elegant solution, please let the rest of us know:)

    Oh and merry Christmas

    1. I had this problem years ago when I stopped working at The Dragon. That store had been the focus of my life for a few years, so when I wasn’t there everyday, I found myself suddenly adrift and struggling to maintain any kind of social life. Then I discovered bars and did that for a number of years. These days I am not particularly interested in drinking or spending enough to build a social life around drinking.

      It looks like the Sierra Club has a meetup group for hiking in the area. I might give them a bit of investigation.

  2. We were friends once upon a time, years ago! We’ve definitely grown apart in many ways, geographically and ideologically, but you’re still in my heart, ya know. OG Santa Cruz etc.

    Still, I… Didn’t know you self-identified as a hipster… *shudder*

    Hope your friend-wrangling new year activities pan out!

    1. Seriously, you’re surprised Christian is a hipster? The amount of time he spent polishing his shoes alone qualifies him, and that was in the 90’s:p

      And Christian, I hear you about the Dragon. It was such a social hub for the gaming community, and ever since everyone moved and both stores combined the community has never recovered. Beavers just opened a store in Fremont, but it’s just too far for me to commute there and make it my gaming hq. I’ve tried getting more involved with the local game stores, but drive isn’t there from the management to make a real effort to get people gaming in the stores again (unless it’s Magic). And yeah, I’m past the bar scene, especially since I have a fiancee. C’est la vie.

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